We’re back with some more tips on disciplining your children in a positive way because let’s face it, there’s no such thing as too much parental advice. Every parent has their own way but here is what Katharine C. Kersey, the author of “The 101s: A Guide to Positive Discipline,” and Jim Fay, the founder of the organization Love and Logic have to say about positive discipline.
1. Give Attention To The Good Behavior — Not The Bad
There’s often a reason behind bad behavior and the reason is often that they want attention. So, sometimes it pays to ignore bad behavior and give attention to good behavior. Your child will catch onto what captures your attention. Kersey calls this the “Rain on the grass, not on the weeds” principle. Ridiculous, whiny behavior might be best dealt with by playing deaf or walking away. Through this method, your children will learn that there’s a better way to communicate. This is a positive way to discipline your children.
2. Redirect Bad Behavior To Positive Discipline
Sometimes we can redirect our children’s behavior, instead of slapping their wrist every time they do something bad or saying “no” or “don’t do that.” As time goes on, children start to tune those phrases out after hearing them so often. Instead of continually telling your children what not to do, Kersey recommends offering a different behavior to replace their misbehavior. If your child is acting up at the store, they might be told to pick out healthy snacks or push the cart with their baby sibling in it.
3. Exploit the “energy drain”
Sometimes parenting is downright draining. Well, Fay says we can use this exhaustion to our advantage. This is Fay’s “energy drain” principle. For instance, you might end a sibling brawl by saying “wow, you need to take that fight somewhere else because listening to it is a big energy drain and I don’t think I’ll have the energy to take you to the park after dinner.” That ought to get them to stop their brawl.
4. Stay Away From Bribing
You may want to offer your children rewards for good behavior. It’s very tempting but Fay warns against bribes. It may send the wrong message. What kids hear when being bribed is “’You don’t want to be very good and you have to be paid off,'” says Fay.
Parenting is a roller coaster at times but the most important thing is to spend time with your children and let them know they are loved. “The best reward for a kid is time with the parents,” says Fay. That is what leads to happy, well-behaved children. Take the time to bond with your children. Let us know if you have your own advice for parents.